The Grand Festivals of Humg, the Land of Many Corners
Transit
Humg is, of course, easily accessible by any major reputable airline. When I visited, I was able to purchase a discounted ticket to Humg Major International Airport for only 200£. The trip took only three hours, thanks to a steady tailwind, and baring the usual slight turbulence, was largely uneventful.
Once you have arrived at Humg, your next destination will depend entirely on the sort of experience you want to have. Those who enjoy throngs of people and an unending atmosphere of vibrancy will likely need only follow the throng of tourists to the mess of shuttle busses outside the main terminal which will take you to the thickly urban downtown neighborhoods.
Those who prefer more contemplative or spiritual festivals should instead look for the smaller but no less numerous Ripjin drivers. Once you find one and procure their services, you should tell them to take you to the quieter and humbler northern districts.
Travel through Humg is handled through taxi and bus services. During the Month of Grand Festivals, personal cars are prohibited, so please do not rent a car, even if you plan to travel outside the city.
The Place
If there is one place in the whole of our fantastical world that even the most adamant homebody simply must experience, it is the Land of Many Corners during the season of Great Festivals.
The Land of Many Corners is perhaps the most metropolitan of all the lands I have traveled to, with visitors from all over the world able to comfortably make their holidays here. There are two dozen common languages spoken in Humg, and no less than six regularly used currencies, likely due to the region’s turbulent colonial-era history. Each of these languages is catered to, with signs sometimes reaching the size of doors. Another common sight is rows of signs, one after the other, all in different languages.
In spite of its fame, I find Humg consistently difficult to describe. The climate is temperate, the people friendly, and the food beyond compare. To describe it with more detail than that is to engage in a kind of macabre poetry, turning everyday banalities into extravagant impossibilities.
Of the eleven seasons of Humg, the season of Grand Festivals is the longest, and filled from beginning to end with the most awe-inspiring delights to enrapture even the most jaded of tourists. Even if you were to spend all two months of the season soaking in the life and vibrancy of Humg, you would not have experienced half of what the Grand Festivals has to offer. During the season, holidays, festivals, and traditions from cultures, faiths, and nations from all over the world are held.
Most famous of all festivals, and known by most every outsider, is the Festival of Festivals; a three-day long event of food, drink, dance, and song. I myself know several people who attend every year, without fail, and yet do not know that this event is simply the concluding ceremony of the season of Grand Festivals.
While a tourist might spend these three days doing little more than eating street food and dancing to street performers, the incomparable delight of the many different festivals throughout the season simply must be experienced by anyone willing to make the journey to Humg.
As I couldn’t do justice to the over 500 festivals celebrated during this season in one book, I will instead provide a curated list of celebrations that the curious tourist will be sure to enjoy.
DONE The Holly Parade
The Grand Festivals of Humg are hard to miss. While the Festival of Festivals takes place over three days and utterly dominates the streets, the Grand Festivals flourish in the side streets and the parks, especially Highend Park — the largest park in Humg. The one exception to this is the Holly Parade.
It is hard to say whether the Holly Parade is a festival in itself, or simply the byproduct of hundreds of festivals beginning and ending sometimes within hours of each other. Certainly, if you ask the locals, the Holly Parade is the central festival of the season, celebrating the act of celebration itself. It is the Holly Parade that spills into the streets and alleys of Humg, see street musicians dancing up and down the walks encouraging people to express their joy, and street vendors giving passers-by a taste of comfort.
DONE The Minor Festivals
Outside of the two main cities are what are called the “minor festivals,” most of which I can attest are not minor in any way, shape, or form. These are simply the festivals that will not or cannot be relocated to the city. This may be either due to the significance of a particular landmark or the recalcitrance of the local festival-holders. Nevertheless, there are numerous tour groups that spend the entire month shuttling travelers to experience as much of the local festivities as is humanly possible. Each tour has its own niche, so if you are more interested in harvest festivals, northern festivals, festivals related to historical events. or even in sightseeing the local landscape with only a small sampling of the local culture, the tour groups will provide. Please read up on the local active tours carefully, as some provide food and accommodation, while others do not.
I hesitate to mention, as some folk will see this as a challenge, but there are also festivals that challenge or threaten the sensibilities of your every-day traveler. Time and trial has resulted in the Humg government sequestering certain festivals from travelers’ attention, thereby ensuring a steady flow of tourist currency. If you are not faint of heart and wish to experience festivals that your culture might find taboo, if not outright dangerous, you will have to risk the Black Market, as no self-respecting local will provide publicly available transit to these festivals. You should also be aware that while shuttling tourists to these festivals is a crime, the local law-enforcement will take no legal action should you wish to file a legal charge, as not only are these taboo festivals protected under the Humg Free-Culture act, but the police will take a dim view of your protest about an event you weren’t supposed to be at in the first place.
DONE The Celebration of Armistice
A seven day festival celebrating the end of the War of the Half-flank is held early in the season.
In the early years of the Copper Age, the War of the Half-flank was fought across five countries and over an entire generation. For the entire war, the Land of Many Corners managed to remain neutral, and therefore the only location that an armistice could be signed. When the war finally ended, seven separate rulers from across the land came to Humg, and spent seven days in talks to establish the final reparations to end the war.
The King of Ressingar was at the time well known as a boisterous and pompous sort, who would not continuance being thought of as a lesser monarch. As such, the King brought with him ten thousand troops, servitors, craftsfolk, and peasants to help support the idea that the King was beloved, powerful, and worthy of admiration.
Hearing of his plans, the Duchen of Grinding brought his own retinue of seven thousand, while the Queen of the Forthright Queendom brought eleven thousand. The other four rulers brought retinues totaling at least twelve thousand, meaning the Land of Many Corners was suddenly beset by nearly forty thousand visitors, all requiring food, shelter, and other sundries.
It would have been impossible had the national boundaries remained firm, but as it was, the forty thousand visitors all helped each other pull through, alongside the citizens of Humg. The bonding that occured during these seven days probably did more to foster peace than any amount of ink on paper. It is believed at least three thousand foreigners elected to stay once the armistice was signed, with a further six thousand returning over the following year.
To this day, the Statue of the Signatory lies in the central square and is regularly adorned with Tanik Roses and gillyflowers as a memorial to the event.
During the Celebration of the Armistace, revelers are expected to say hello and make friends with someone they don’t know every day. You will likely be approached more often than you approach someone else, so don’t bother trying to keep track.
DONE The End of Red Troubles
The Red Troubles is the name given by the locals to the Arkesi Plague. While the Broiling Plague resulted in more deaths than the Red Troubles, the Red Troubles lasted longer and afflicted far more people. Even now there are folk who bear the scars of the horrible disease, carried through the blood to younger generations. If you see anyone with dark veins or red-scarred skin, do not fear; they are not plagued.
Celebrating the distribution of the cure and the end of the Red Troubles occurs during the beginning of the season. Meals are concluded with a sweet desserts, and a serving of fruit is burned in a sconce before going to bed. At least one meal is generally done in public, usually the midday meal. Street music is performed almost constantly during this time, and the streets become a massive dance party.
DONE The Great Fair of the Harvest
The Great Fair of the Harvest, also known as the Verdant Exhibition, first took place towards the end of the Brass Age.
The first Great Fair of the Harvest was ordered by King Renworth to celebrate the end of the Broiling Plauge. Tiny villages to mighty cities all took part, creating lengthy caravans that traveled from the edges towards Humg. There, a fair over three leagues long was built. Farmers brought food and recipies from as far away as Dyobnick, and performers and musicians plied their trades long into the night. Food and drink was constantly shared, as new pilgrims continued to arrive, replacing those who had run out of food, money, or energy.
After a quarter-year of the fair, word spread to other regions, and a new influx of foreign tourists turned the Fair into an exhibition of the local and regional culture. The first fair didn’t end until a full year had passed. Though King Renworth died three years after the official end of the Fair, the local legend says that it was the closing of the Fair that caused his heart to give out.
Now, a full month is devoted to the Great Fair of the Harvest, celebrating farmers, craftsfolk, and healers from all across the land. Centralized in the western corner of Humg, this celebration resembles a farmers’ or crafts’ market more than a street festival.
DONE The Holy Starfall of 6542
In the year 6542, by their calender, the Land of Flororenghashst experienced a meteor shower that lasted for a full week. Several local religious groups saw this as a sign from the divinities, alternately a blessing or ill-omen. Ever since, the Holy Starfall has been celebrated in Flororenghashst as a time of contemplation and introspection. When immigrants from Flororenghashst settled in Humg, they brought this tradition with them.
Over time, the holiday has become less a sedate time for meditation, and a more festive time for gratitude. Some regions celebrate the Holy Starfall as a time when the world escaped destruction. Others as a reminder that life is fleeting, and still others as a sign of thanks to the creator. In Humg, they celebrate them all.
During the day-long celebration, you may be approached by someone wearing a ferocious mask lined with feathers. This person is dressed as a Nihor, or “demon face.” If they touch you, you must surrender a coin of any denomination while saying “I return what you never lost.” If you do, the Nihor will blow a yellow powder on your face or chest to mark you as blessed. Be sure you don’t wear any clothing you wouldn’t want stained!
This tradition comes from an old folk-tale: It is said that during the Starfall, a gemstone — now known as the Jewel of Obi — fell to the land and was picked up by a farmer who gave it to her King’s newborn daughter as a gift. This act of charity so angered the Gan Ni, that it appeared in a pillar of whirling ice and leaves, demanding the jewel for itself. As luck would have it, the folk-hero Flanjin Jani was visiting the king, and she slipped her lyre from her shoulder and strummed a traveling romb (from the Gilbrim word ron’domb meaning a causal stroll) they had written.
The Gan Ni paused to hear the romb, and when she finished she challenged the Gan Ni to four tasks to see who would claim the jewel: to create something of great beauty, to return something no one thought lost, to cook a meal fit for the land, and to sing every line of the Lapan Zhal. To keep the story short, I will simply say the Gan Ni returned the Shine of Winter Suns to Flororenghashst and cooked a single meal that fed all the people of the land for a week. Flanjin Jani sang the Lapan Zhal as no one ever sang it before and brought forth a decorated ribbon she had made some ten years before.
With the competition tied, the Gan Ni bowed respectfully to Flanjin Jani and left with both a blessing and a curse on its lips. The curse was taken by Flanjin Jani to a peaceful brook seven leagues away to drown, while the blessing is still written in the keystone over the entryway to the palace at Winterkesh.
DONE The Penitence of the Vortex
Generations ago, a tornado-like weather phenomenon struck the land of Pallanthaul. Many historians and climatologists say that this storm, larger in size than any other on record, was a freak occurrence born from an unusual convergence of multiple extreme climate events.
On the other hand, several eye-witness accounts reported seeing an eye in the middle of the storm. Other reports included supernatural occurrences, conversations with otherworldly beings, strange magics, and feelings unconnected with the surrounding environs. Spiritual leaders have since taken it upon themselves to label this event as the Fifth Manifestation of the being known as the Vortex.
The tornado remained stationary three days. While there are countless accounts of the Vortex’s dissolution, there is no clear or widly accepted record of its cause. No less than five separate individuals and organizations claim responsibility through spiritual ritual, heroic intervention, and similar actions, but none of the five have been acknowledged or supported by any spiritual or cultural organization.
All told, the amount of damage was greater than any recorded natural disaster, while fatalities were measurably lower than expected. If this truly were the Fifth Manifestation, multiple millions should have died, instead of the six or seven thousand accounted for.
Regardless, the people of Pallanthaul now celebrate the Fifth Manifestation as one of their holidays. The Penitence of the Vortex is one of the few festivals that is not particularly pleasant, as holidays go. Practitioners are expected to undergo purification rituals, ranging from holy cleansing to minor flagellation. In the Land of Many Corners, visitors are allowed to observe the practice, though celebrating is considered gauche.
After the cleansing, however, a small meal is served with large amounts of alcohol to celebrate the purified self. Ordinarily, celebrating with the clean while not having undergone the rituals yourself is considered sinful, but in the Land of Many Corners, exception is made.
DONE The Mournful King Festival
Humg once was a fully functional monarchy, though their practice was unique, and it is mirrored in the Mournful King Festival to this day. (It is said there are some outlying regions that still use this brand of monarchy, but I have never visited one.)
The Mournful King was treated much like any other monarch, given comfort beyond that of the average Humgian. He held court, much the same as any other king, and took part in many official affairs of state. However, this was largely ceremonial. The actual ruling of Humg was done by an elected council, and while citizens came to the King to settle disputes and request permissions, this was largely done as a kind of scapegoating. The King was, rather than a ruler, a form of responsibility transfer. If things went well, the king was thanked much the same as powerful spirits or deities are in other cultures. If things went poorly, it was the King’s responsibility and therefore fault. The king was regularly punished for failing the people, and there were many times in history that the king was executed for treason.
Held towards the end of the season of festivals, this tradition continues through the burning of a wicker king in a celebration of forgiving grudges, healing pains, and embracing a future of hope rather than a past of suffering. There are rituals throughout the festival that match this; for example, a festival roast cow is paraded throughout the town and praised, blessed, prayed over, and generally thanked for their service. Traditionally they were told painful secrets that they then incorporated into themselves, so that the eating of them would turn the pain into strength. Bones, cobs, and other inedibles are thrown into dinner fires, along with a sufferance, to symbolize the forgetting of pains. Throwing leaves/paper money/etc into the wind or off Ellon Bridge is also common. It is also customary to find/take a symbol of growth: a seed pod, a crysalis, etc. and keep it with you for the whole festival.
A folk belief was that surviving the cold winter would only happen if you were unburdened enough: the story of the Bent Water-carrier details this, as a water-carrier listens and cares for the people on his route, but the worry of each problem fills his buckets and weighs him down until he can’t move and freezes to death in the winter snows. You can’t help people if you hinder yourself with your own suffering, after all.
DONE The Feast of Leaves
One of the final festivals of the season is the Feast of Leaves; an ancient harvest festival from Liilii that was shared among mortals and Gods alike. Food and drink flows liberally during the Feast of Leaves, and many locals bring specially prepared foods to the streets to offer passers-by. In ancient times, the mortals shared their very table with the gods, and it is this legend that gave birth to the Grand Banbooh; a person who is made monarch for the day and must be obeyed in all their wishes.
Originally, the Grand Banbooh was an average person plucked at random from the throngs of partiers at midday and given the crown. Nowadays, the role of Grand Banbooh is chosen before the festival, and the character only makes silly demands of people, such as touching their toes, singing along to a silly song, or splashing the Grand Banbooh with a mug of ale. You are expected to do anything this clown asks, however embarrassing it may seem. You may, however, tell the Grand Banbooh “I have sprained my leg, and so cannot do as you ask,” even if it seems like a sprained leg has nothing to do with what you have been told to do. They will then ask you something simpler, such as shaking their hand or giving them a smile.
To refuse the grand Banbooh entirely is to label yourself a t’pap — an outsider who does not wish well upon the people. As punishment, you will have cold water tipped over your head, or — for the particularly rowdy and ungracious — firmly asked to leave.
DONE Resh
Not a festival, but rather an important cultural touchstone, resh has two meanings in Humg culture. The first is the dish, a thick stew of boiled vegetables, fried roots, and cooked dumplings. It is the national dish of the Land of Many Corners, and every household in the region has its own recipie. The only universal ingredient is the butter-root tuber, which grows throughout the region. Traditionally, a long thin slice of the tuber garnishes every bowl.
The second meaning of Resh is the afternoon meal in which resh was traditionally served. Something akin to a holiday, though without a standard or official date, Resh is served as a celebration, welcoming, or similar event of importance.
Culturally, the region follows a three-meal structure, with the midday meal the largest and most important. This changes during days when Resh is served, with the midday meal being little more than a light appetizer.
Resh is a multi-course meal, during which resh is usually served as a mid-meal dish. The first courses include a roughage such as salad or roasted nuts, followed by a thin steamed meat such as lightfish or seasoned ham. A rich sweet broth is traditionally used as the transition between the early and mid courses, which include lean cuts of meat, garnished salads with savory breads, and resh. The final dishes generally include a sweet dumpling or fruit paste, Grooph(a dairy-based drink), and ground seeds as a freshener.
Resh will likely be offered to you no matter where you go. The Resh meal can be either an ornate fifteen-course affair or a humble four-course meal, depending on whether you eat at a wealthy mansion or thatch-roof farmhouse. It is important for all travelers, as guests, eat at least a single bite of every course. Recent shifts in mores have resulted in smaller portions being offered to foreign guests, but even so, it is wise to eat slowly and carefully, lest you are forced to choose between disrespecting your host and bursting your stomach.
DONE Accommodations
Humg is a cultural smorgasbord and an appealing destination for the casual tourist. Finding a hotel or apartment to rent is relatively easy, provided you book your trip early. The more popular and well-known hotel chains are often booked some six years ahead, and are largely the purview of those who have the luxury of planning their vacations so far in advance. These rooms can range from high-priced to prohibitively expensive, depending on location, room-size, and included services.
Commonly, locals will rent their apartments or houses out to visitors. These prices are generally more reasonable, again depending on what you are looking for. These rentals used to be done through the Humg Tourist Advisory, though now most are handled on a individual basis. I myself spent a lovely month renting from an old man who had lived in Humg all his life, and took it as a point of pride that he cooked for me every night. We became good friends in that time, and I rented from him every time I visited Humg until his death.
An added bonus of renting in Humg is the ease of transit; it is difficult to find accommodations that do not provide easy access to the many festivals. They are evenly distributed throughout the city, and the local Ripjin drivers are quite adept at ferrying people where they want to go.