The Old Kingdom: The Land and Its People

Once a towering empire that spanned countless kingdoms and continents, the Old Kingdom has since dwindled in strength and prestige to the polished museum piece it is now. Countless ancient legends have their origins in the Old Kingdom, with historical mores and cultural tropes spreading through the ages. It is suggested by some historians that the world culture that exists today is largely a byproduct of the Old Kingdom. I, of couese, don’t know any facts of the matter. What I do know is that the Old Kingdom is a place of deep historical significance.

Personally, I have an awkward relationship to the historical. I am a person who tries to concern themselves with the present. While I do not dispute the importance of history, much less its impact on current events, I find myself somewhat ambivalent when standing in front of ancient artifacts or visiting the locations of important historical events.

That said, there are places in our fantastical world that astound and amaze with their rich stories and majestic pasts. Historians and fans of antiquity can always find incredible stories, well worth a visit. You can stand on the very spot the Iron King stood when he spoke to his army at Konad. You can touch the stones of the Dolomite Throne, or gaze on the actual Tsavorite Vault of the Moneyed Monks.

The Old Kingdom was old when our own nations were young. The stories told around their fireplaces were well worn before we had mastered fire. One can ignore this fact or respect it, but we cannot ignore it.

For those who do wish to ignore it, the Old Kingdom is well worth visiting not just for students of history, (though they will certainly find much to enjoy!) but for anyone who wishes to travel into the past. Much of the Old Kingdom has resisted modernization in a myriad of different ways. Electricity is uncommon, and few places accept credit cards or have cellular phone service. While many tourist locations have managed to scrape together some modern amenities, the nation as a whole has largely avoided the modern age.

I visit the Old Kingdom to remind myself that we are a part of something bigger. The world did not begin with my birth, nor will it end with my death. You will see similarities between the historical events of the past and your own life, and recognize that even in centuries past, people struggled with similar issues to what we have to deal with today. Historical places such as this can also give us insight into other cultures and mindsets, providing us valuable context and significant understanding; we can see similarities not just with our own past, but with our present.

Culture for Travelers

Please be aware that the Old Kingdom is one of the more gendered lands I have ever traveled to. The people of the Old Kingdom have lived their lives according to a code that splits men and women into almost entirely different species. There is a lot of societal expectation for women and men, and directly challenging these norms can be taken as an insult. Please be careful when traveling that you show respect to local customs; it serves no one if the locals learn to mistrust or scorn tourists.

Greetings

When greeting a man of the Old Kingdom, it is always polite to bow with one hand extended over the head, as if doffing one’s hat. When meeting a woman, you should curtsy with hands to the side. Some cultures may find this awkward, as their physical greetings are based on their own gender, rather than the other person’s. Myself, I took almost a week before I was able to bow or curtsy properly, without reflexively bowing to everyone I met.

Shopkeepers and Waitresses

Taking on a job in the Old Kingdom is traditionally a male pursuit. When speaking with anyone inside a shop, no matter their gender, always call them “Foer.” This is the Old Kingdom equivalent of “Sir” or “Don,” and can be used as a formal address for any male you meet.

Similarly, whether the person giving you your food at a restaurant presents as male or female, only ever use the word “Feis” to address them. Serving others is strictly thought of as a “female” job, and so only females do it, no matter their gender.

Leadership

The Hall of Brow is one of the oldest and most venerated castles in all the world, and in spite of various governmental reforms, is still the seat of power in the country. While various regions in the Old Kingdom have adjusted to more modern sensibilities, to rule over others is still considered a masculine role in society, which means only men have ever been honored with the responsibility in the Hall of Brow. It must be said that there have been women who became rulers, but they changed to fit the expectations of the office and took on the male gender during their reign.

Tourist Expectations and Asking Questions

Thankfully, as a traveler you will certainly be given some leeway. I have found the people of the Old Kingdom to be more tired than passionate when defending their traditions. Accidentally call a shopkeeper “miss” or say “foer” when addressing a male waiter, and you will likely be no more than corrected with a mild sigh.

However, I urge you to not make the same mistake I did when first traveling to the Old Kingdom; do not ask for an explanation or try to argue with them about their culture. It is extremely rude to ask anyone to give reasons or explanations in Old Kingdom culture. You are expected to “live-and-let-live,” and asking about any cultural traditions — from gender roles to national holidays — is seen as sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong. If you wish to learn about the Old Kingdom’s culture in more detail, there are countless books about the subject written by people who have lived there for years. I strongly suggest you seek out these books¹ if you wish to learn more.

Cuisine

Notable Dishes

Vorga

Wine is largely foreign to the Old Kingdom, while whiskeys, ales, and fruit-beers are much more common. Vorga is the name given to the local ale made from white-florant in the southern area of Vorg province. Similar to a thick and sweet wheat-beer, Vorga is served most everywhere in the Old Kingdom. I have been to several restaurants where there is a pitcher of Vorga for the table, rather than water.

Kiik

A hot cream-based drink, kiik was originally invented as a method of soothing the sour flavor of Old Kingdom wines. The Old Kingdom climate makes wine-quality grapes difficult to grow, and the local varieties are more sour than sweet. The wine is now added to boiling spiced cream, and served with slices of lok-melon. Considered a celebratory drink, if you order Kiik, be prepared to answer what the occasion is. “Visiting your town,” is a acceptable answer that will carry connotations of a desire for privacy.

Drol Rip

Literally translated as “fried slice,” Drol Rip is a sweet, salty, savory, and spicy street food that can be found anywhere in the Old Kingdom. A thick slice of starchy and well-salted potato is covered with a thin slice of the soft and sweet lok-melon. The slices are then pressed together between two hot plates to sear both sides, and then the whole thing is covered with lightly spiced green-corn flower and fried in butter-fat. The delectable result is sometimes served with a sour sauce or splash of vinegar malt, but this is largely a regional choice. Well worth trying on any day where you need a snack to pick yourself up.

Hiena

A staple in Old Kingdom cooking, hiena is a grain/tuber paste similar to hummus or pâté. Traditionally made from a mix of powdered green-corn, boiled thornroot, and butter, hiena is now made in multiple varieties with different grains and tubers. It also comes in thick, solid, and runny varieties; thin hiena is used to add substance and richness to breads, soups, and other dishes, while solid hiena can be used similar to meat, much like seitan or tofu.

Hiena is usually mixed with some mild herbs or sauce to give it more flavor, but most traditional Old Kingdom dishes ask for plain.

Tok’vannu Lok

Lok is a kind of bread-cake made from five different types of grains and seeds. There are many different varieties of lok, from sweet to savory and everything in-between. Tok’van lok is a lok that is layered with strips of meat and tehien, topped with thin slices of caramelized melon and drizzled with sauce. There is not much variety in the types of tok’van lok, as tradition holds the recipe sacrosanct, but tok’vannu lok is one of the few accepted alternatives. Instead of meat, tok’vannu uses thick slices of fried turnip and potato, giving this rare delicacy a more common and universal appeal

Vesshi Porlaal

Vesshi poraal, translated as “princeling’s left foot,” is a delicacy often reserved for birthdays, marriages, and other special occasions. According to folk-tale, a usurped king went on a long journey to regain his throne from an upstart prince of another country. When he finally retained his kingdom, he ordered for the usurper prince’s left foot to be cut off and served for his dinner. In modern retelling, the king merely imprisons the prince and holds a grand celebratory banquet, but the name of the dish remains.

Vesshi poraal is a rich casserole dish of butter, egg, mashed root vegetables, and strips of meat rolled in rye dough and baked. Covered in a cream berry sauce, the resulting loaf is sliced thin and garnished with nuts and seeds.

Common Ingredients

The Old Kingdom is a land of grains. There are no less than nine different staple grain crops that are farmed year-round and used in Old Kingdom cuisine; wheats, wild rices, barley, rye, oats, amaranths, thickweeds, florants, and green-corn. Legumes are also remarkably common, as are tubers and root vegetables. Please be aware that if you have a common grain allergy, you may find it quite difficult to get a filling meal at any restaurant, and certainly without getting some odd looks.

Common fruits in the Old Kingdom are grapes, oranges, melons, and berries such as blue-, black-, and greenberries.

Nuts are rarely used in cooking except as a raw garnish, though having a handful of after-dinner nuts is quite common.

Dairy is also common, with goose and guinea fowl eggs being a staple. Rock-Bison milk and cheese is ubiquitous, and yogurt is often used as a thickener for sauces and soups.

Meat is considered a rich-person ingredient, as it is quite an expensive ingredient. Increases in production hasn’t moved the needle on this, though it has given rise to the “midweek meal,” or tokpalat. The tokpalat is a celebratory meal held in the middle of the week for the whole family. For many people, this is the only acceptable time to eat a meat dish if you aren’t ridiculously rich.

Be aware then, if you try to order any meat dishes at local restaurants, you are liable to get some odd looks.

Yokipuck

If you travel to the Old Kingdom in the summertime, you should check the local news for any Yokipuck matches. Yokipuck is the national sport of the Old Kingdom, and it has a history and heritage spanning centuries.

The sport originated in the southern edge of the kingdom as part of their religious festival of fertility. According to their religious legends, the land once suffered an immense drought, and the people feared for their crops. A folk hero and his band of rouges and bandits learned from their sage-witch that the Spirit of the Ocean had withdrawn their blessing because the people had grown weak. The bandits knew this wasn’t true,² and so they marched across the land to challenge the Spirit and demand the blessing’s return. They overcame the Spirit’s army, and the rain returned to the land.

Originally, the retelling of this story was done as a sermon or tableau, but performances and re-enactments soon became common. Over time, the re-enactments of the battle turned into a game, then a sport between two teams.

Yokipuck for tourists

There are a lot of rules to the sport — rules that I do not have the time or inclination to detail here. Instead, take this section as a small primer to the larger game.

Unlike most sports across the world, there are no “formal” teams. While each game is a competition between two sides, the players are all treated individually, and teams can range from three to seven players each. While some teams are maintained for a whole season, most of them only last for three games at most before the players disperse and form new teams. This makes the sport a fascinating combination of team and individual sport. While each individual match is held as a team sport, players are tracked, ranked, and celebrated as individuals. As a result, there have been several controversial acts throughout Yokipuck history where teammates have sabotaged each other in an attempt to raise their own rankings.

The sport itself consists of two teams in a specially designed field. The goal of the first team, called “Team Rore,”³ is to cross the field to the opposing team’s side and capture an acorn-shaped ball that has been balanced on a thick pole, with a shorter pole then balanced on its top. Once they have done this, they are to cross the field back the other way, and place the ball in a hooded barrel. If this is done without running afoul of the second team, called “Team Wall” or sometimes just “Team Two,” they win the game. Team Wall wins the game if they prevent Team Rore from winning for one hour, or “knock out” the entirety of Team Rore.

Each player has a choice of three tools they can take onto the field: the hoola, the wonn, or the ligel-fist. The hoola is a wooden bat with a small forked end, just big enough to hold the ball. The wonn is an intricate glove with strips of bone lengthening the fingers and a net wrapped between them. The ligel-fist is a pelota-like glove made of wood for catching and slinging the ball. Each of these tools represents a famous warrior in the folk-tale, and are the only ways a player can legally touch the ball.

The field is littered with walls, hills, and other obstacles⁴ that can either be a hindrance or an asset to a team, given their strategy. There are very few rules regarding movement or legal behavior during a match, and using different and creative strategies is part of the game.

If a player is “knocked down,” that player must withdraw from the field for six minutes. Being “knocked out” means a player is out for the rest of the game. There are a lot of rules about how a player is knocked down or out, but the most common is being tapped on the back by another player’s tool.

While there are many other rules and edge-cases, your best option to learn is watching a few matches and discussing the sport with someone more experienced.

Trains, Busses, and Taxi Services

The Old Kingdom’s most common mode of transport is the vi-tran; a train with only two or three cars pushed from behind by a miniature steam-engine. The cars are almost always open-air, and have limited space for baggage. Vi-trans only travel between two or three towns, and only cost two vice per trip. Tickets are purchased at time of boarding. Vi-trans are especially common in the flat and gentle-sloped lowlands, where the small engine is more efficient.

In the higher altitudes, buses are more common, as are urban cable cars. Some towns and cities are by necessity built at multiple elevations, and use cable cars to provide public transit through sharp inclines or over otherwise treacherous paths.

Because of the mountainous regions that dominate the Old Kingdom, balloon-ferry service is another common method for getting about. While these ferries can often take longer than a more direct high-speed rail, they have found their niche both in direct transport among the mountain cities and as a sight-seeing opportunity.

Taxi services within the more populated urban centers is common, while transport between cities is largely limited to busses, a small number of trains, and balloon-ferries.

Weather and Climate

The Old Kingdom has two major climate-zones which require different packing, depending on which season you are visiting in. Thankfully, the Old Kingdom only really has two seasons: the Sun season and the Ice season.

The Eastern Edge is the warmer climate-zone, protected from the worst of the western winds by large mountain ranges and thick forests. Their Ice seasons are incredibly dry, while the Sun seasons are quite hot and turbulent, with powerful winds sweeping down from the mountains. During the Ice season, pack warm clothing and snow gear. I would also recommend moisturizers for anyone who suffers from dry or easily-chapped skin. During the Sun season, light clothing is ideal. Avoid clothing that is too loose or easily damaged, and you may want to practice wearing arm- and leg-wraps to keep your clothes from hindering your movement or chafing your skin in high winds.

The Western Swath is more temperate than the Eastern Edge, though much more humid during the Sun season. Rains and snows are common, especially during the change from one season to another. If you are traveling during the Ice season, hats or hooded fur-lined clothing will help catch snow and rain. Thick cotton or wool clothing will also help keep you dry. During the Sun season, any humid-suitable clothing will work well. Rain gear and quick-dry fabrics are a must, and a small portable umbrella should be your constant companion. Short-sleeved and -legged clothes are also a good idea.

The Old Kingdom Mark/High Coin

The Old Kingdom has two currencies that are in common use. Frustratingly, travelers will need to keep a selection of each on their persons at all times, as rather than differing due to regional histories or economies, whether an entrepreneur uses Marks or High Coins depends almost entirely upon personal preference, if not familial history. Thankfully, many merchants and services are beginning to recognize the value of trading in multiple currencies, especially in common tourist destinations.

High Coin (§)

The High Coin is the older of the two currencies, used by Monarchs as far back as the Bear King, and has been adopted as a kind of status symbol among some of the older citizenry. It is a symbol of heritage, tradition, and a time when the Old Kingdom’s reach stretched far and wide across the land. Royalists and loyalists tend to prefer the High Coin, though many of the working class use it as well as a kind of patriotic symbol. All High Coin coins were originally made from solid iron. Due to inflation and weight, coins minted within the last ten centuries are an alloy of seven parts nickel, two parts copper, and one part iron.

It is worth noting too that the High Coin is mentioned multiple times in the Old Kingdom’s legal history, and is the only coin sanctioned by the Imperial Treasury. It is likely, if not certain, that if you find yourself in need of public services, you will be required to deal in High Coin.

High Coin is composed of sovereigns(§) and pates(ԗ), with 12 pates to the sovereign. High Coin does not have any paper currency, only using coins made from iron. Prices are usually listed using the different coinage, so don’t be surprised if you are asked to pay in royals(R), rights(r), or vices(v). It’s wise for a traveler to carry five or six of each coin with them at all times, including ten or twenty pates, as tipping is traditionally done with pates no matter the amount.

Travelers should also be aware of the term “court.” A court is one of each coin from sovereign to pate; that’s one sovereign, one royal, one right, one vice, and one pate. This price is rarely used these days, but was common during the Forthright Rebellion, as loyalists sought to keep their preferred coinage in circulation.

The most common coins travelers will have to deal with are as follows:

Coin	Worth (§)	Worth (ԗ)
Ten-Sovereign	10	120
Two-Sovereign	2	24
Sovereign	1	12
Royal	1/2	6
Right	1/4	3
Vice	1/6	2
Pate	1/12	1

Larger denominations are handled using Letters of Worth — common legal documents that must be notarized by the Imperial Treasury to be worth the listed value of sovereigns. These are almost exclusively the purview of big-ticket purchases such as houses, business commissions, and large-money exchanges, though there is word that the Imperial Treasury is experimenting with Writs — cheques supported by the Treasury that may be filled in for any amount at any time. Depending on how this experiment goes, you may or may not do well to purchase some.

Mark (M)

The mark is the newer currency, with the first mark being minted only two centuries ago. The mark is divisible into three separate coins, the half-mark, the eight-mark, and the piece-mark. Prices are usually listed as marks and fractions, such as “10M-1/2,” or “20M-3/8.” Thankfully, for those of us who are not quick with fractions, most merchants have learned to keep to the divisions of the coins, rather than reduce the fractions to their simpler forms. While you may still see a few merchants price their wares with “1/4,” most will keep to “2/8.” so travelers need not guess how many eight-marks the merchant is asking.

the different mark coins are all made with different ratios of iron and copper, with the coins larger than a mark including some zinc. The common coins that a traveler will see and use are:

Coin	Worth (M)
Twin-Mark	20
Ten-Mark	10
Five-Mark	5
Mark	1
Half-Mark	1/2
Quarter-Mark	1/4
Piece-Mark	1/20

As for paper currency, travelers might see the following:

Bill	Worth (M)
Hunny-Mark	100
Fif-Mark	50
Twin-Mark	20
Ten-Mark	10
Five-Mark	5
Mark	1
Half-Mark	1/2