The Old Kingdom: The Effervescent Palace of Chairs and Cabinets

Transit

Travel to Belliboos is limited, as the region is largely surrounded by mountains. The most reliable method is travel by hot-air balloon, though there is a train line that cuts through the mountains. It is perhaps a more direct route, but certainly has less in the way of impressive views.

The Red Morning Balloon Ferry is probably the best option for most travelers, as they also include several minor convenience services, such as a currency exchange and purchasable guide-books and maps.

Travel by balloon will take anywhere from two to three hours, depending on the wind, while the train will only take one and a half hours. There are no meals on the train, however, while most balloon ferries provide at least a small snack and drink for purchase.

Once you arrive, there are five separate shuttle services to the Effervescent Palace of Chairs and Cabinets. A day-trip ticket on one of these shuttle services will likely run you no more than 5t. There are options to rent cars in the city, but this is discouraged as a means to visit the Palace via a personal-car tax of 4t for vehicles driving along the Palace road.

The Place

One of the oft mentioned Wonders of the Fantastical World, the Effervescent Palace of Chairs and Cabinets sits on the mountainous edge of Belliboos province. Built in 1060 by the Duke of Swazle, the Effervescent Palace was first used as a military fortress during the Swazi-Livonian war. After the war’s end in 1062, the Duke repurposed the palace as a mountain vacation home.

In 1068, the Duke was usurped by his son — the famed Mad Duke of Swazle — who added three separate wings to the main keep and renamed the fortress to the Effervescent Palace. The Mad Duke then spent the following seven years traveling to and from the palace on hunting trips, astrological expeditions, and other such frivolities. Every time he visited, he brought a new chair, oftentimes taken from a noble’s villa in a conquered province or stolen from a neighbor’s castle. His obsession with furniture is well documented, and as his pathology progressed, the Effervescent Palace was overrun with chairs of all shapes, sizes, and styles.

After the death of the Mad Duke, the palace was cleared out of furniture. Most of the chairs were burned, but some — either due to their quality, foreign origin, or significant history — were saved. The palace itself fell into disuse, and in 1844 the Effervescent Palace of Chairs and Cabinets was transformed into a museum. Despite it’s name, there are more kinds of furniture than just chairs and cabinets, though they do take up the most space.

It is here that you will find one of the world’s largest collections of famous and artistic chairs, cabinets, tables, and other assorted furniture. From the unique Cabinet of Curious Handles to the fabled Chair of St. Gustous of Frap, historically significant furniture of all kinds have found their way to the Effervescent Palace. Historically minded travelers can spend hours, even days studying each piece.

Upon reaching the Palace, you will be outfit with special shoes and gloves, as well as going through a specially designed anti-dirt-and-dust process to ensure the long-term health of the Palace and its exhibitions. This may take a while if you are found to be particularly dusty, so remember to be patient. Photography is also strictly prohibited, though commissioned pictures are available for purchase.

The exhibits are all displayed with small color-coded signs. Green signs indicate that the exhibit is not to be touched in any way, and these pieces are usually behind glass. Blue signs indicate that the piece may be touched, though only with the special gloves you have been given. Yellow signs indicate that this particular piece may be used: sat in, opened, or even leaned against. Please, do not abuse this permission, as while these pieces of furniture are more sturdy than others, they are not invincible. Be aware that damage or destruction of Palace property will result in a hefty fine.

What follows is a tiny sampling of the historical memorabilia that is on display:

The Throne of Queen Losh

One of the simpler pieces in the collection, the Throne of Queen Losh could easily be mistaken for an ornate dining-table chair. Famously minimalist, Queen Losh commissioned the throne so as to not distract with lavish pomposity. She wanted, reportedly, a chair that was comfortable and reliable, without undue decoration. The carpenter refused to provide no ornamentation for a Queen’s throne, and so the few decorations are all quite small and impeccably detailed. Note too, the slightly cheeky expression on the satyr adorning the rear-right leg; the carpenter obviously had opinions about the Queen.

The Grand Table of the Marked Marquis

The Marked Marquis is famous for many reasons, and infamous for several others. His Grand Table is where the fabled Mighty Feast of Tintide was held, and where he purportedly signed every treaty, letter, and edict he wrote. Donated by the Marquis’s family, the Grand Table is notable for the sheer number of scratches, dents, and scars on its surface. Historians have been able to connect most of these markings to notable events in the Marquis’s journals, allowing viewers a tangible and above all tactile connection to the past.

The Shelves of Sand

One of the most delicate pieces of furniture in the palace, the Shelves of Sand were owned by the fabled Jimli Wizard, rescued from his Tower of Autumn after the Wizard Wars of 362. The construction of the shelves is still a mystery, even today, as any attempt to pull samples would likely disrupt the delicate runes that line the shelves, thereby causing the entire piece of furniture to collapse into a pile of sand.¹

Connegut’s Cabinet

Liberated from the Marble Palace, this cabinet is the same piece of furniture where the Plumed Queen hid her dead birds. While this is largely the fact that commands the most attention, it is also one of the most ornate and delicately decorated cabinets in the entire collection, having taken almost two years to carve. It is considered by many to be the ur-example of the Pentagarthic style, as while the piece itself clearly did not inspire any other artists, the carpenter went on to create several other famous pieces of furniture which clearly inspired the style, some of which (such as the Flowering Chair set) are also on display in the Effervescent Palace.

The Seven Winds Howling

There are many stories about how this unique musical instrument was created and for what reason. Most commonly, a musical troupe desired an easier way to transport their heavy instruments and so commissioned the cabinet to be built. It certainly is large enough to hold an assortment of instruments, but its musical properties are its most notable quality. Due to careful placement of several whistle-pipes and channels, the doors whistle quite beautifully in strong winds, and can be “played” by opening and closing the doors to certain widths. The Effervescent Palace has a Cabinet-Musician on its payroll, who performs a song for patrons every hour on the hour.

The Blessed Side-table of Quarrin K.

The side-table which — according to the parable — held the Holus Saint Park’s own pen for a single night, when the blessed fool Quarinquay thought it to be little more than a beautiful feather. It is unclear how the Mad Duke came into possession of this holy relic, but the Church of Holus Glorious has confirmed its authenticity, as well as graciously allowed it to remain on display in the Effervescent Palace. Note, Swazle naming conventions regularly include the first letter of last names; it is likely the Mad Duke was unfamiliar with the fables of the blessed fool Quarrenquay, and so labeled the side-table incorrectly. The label stuck, and even the Church will accept both spellings when speaking of the side-table.

The Work of Lady Daddimor

The Effervescent Palace has no fewer than seven pieces of art created by the famed carpenter Lady Daddimor. Considered one of the greatest artisans of her time, each piece of furniture is unique, rivaling the greatest painters and sculptors of old. My particular favorite is the Cherry-wood Table, as I have never seen such a masterful blending of color and shape.

The Stone Wing

There have been several attempts to encourage the Palace to branch out into other forms of art. Only one currently remains; the euphemistically named Stone Wing in the eastern tower. It is here that multiple statues are on display, made from stone, metal, and clay. The only nod to the Effervescent Palace’s raison d’être is that each statue includes some representation of furniture.

Becon’s Chair

A simple nondescript wooden chair, entirely out of place when compared to the rest of the furniture in the palace. No one knows why the Mad Duke made space for it in his palace, and it would have been removed long ago, had the Royal Art Critic not championed its position as “a perfect example of the neo-pragmatic style.” Whether she was joking or not is unclear, but the chair remains in the palace as a reminder of the beauty in simplicity and functionality.

This is just a small sampling of the historical and beautiful pieces of art available to see. The Effervescent Palace is a place for historians and art-lovers alike, as there is no better place in this fantastical world to see how even commonplace everyday objects can be art. From the smooth and simple minimalism of a metal folding chair to the beauty of the most ornately decorated cabinet, there is beauty in everything.

Do not be shocked if, upon returning home after visiting the Palace, you find yourself seeing art in the most banal and unlikely of places.

Accommodations

Belliboos has several cities suitable for tourists, but the city for visiting the Effervescent Palace is Wonzeig.

Only 7km (4 miles) from the Palace, Wonzeig is a metropolitan city well prepared for foreign tourists. Signs are multilingual, and Belliboos law mandates schooling in two different foreign languages, meaning there is a good chance that a nearby local can speak your language. There is good public transport in the form of taxis, busses, and carts, all for very reasonable prices, and no fewer than five separate shuttle services to the Palace.

The currency of Belliboos is the K’nik (K), which is also subdivided into twenty-four Svert(s). There are multiple different coins, but for those travelers who are more used to dollars and cents, you can easily make do with 1K, 5K, and 10K coins. Just remember the phrase “No back,” in the local Belliboosian: Morfinagan. This will inform whomever you are giving K’nik to that you do not want to bother with correct change.

The Hiker’s Hotel, on south Bruns street, is an ideal place for the weary traveler; centrally located with easy access to all the best stores, restaurants, and museums. Prices range from 10K to 20K a bed for two nights. Renting a room with two beds for a full week will cost no more than 100K.

If you are traveling during the cold months, look out for “Fireplace Specials,” as these are reduced rates for travelers during the icy winter. These deals are largely reserved for backpackers, hikers, and solo travelers, but you might get lucky and find a room suitable for a larger family.

Things to Do

Daytime

Apart from visiting the Effervescent Palace itself, there are several museums of art and history in Belliboos, all of which are either free or have reasonably priced admission. In addition, Belliboos has many tours of the local province.

The Swiftjay Tour of Belliboos Brewing is one of my favorites. Relatively short at only four days, the tour takes you across the province, visiting ten local beer, wine, and spirit breweries. The tour-guides are quite educated and experienced, and will provide you with an wide array of options, depending on your preferences.

Longstride Tours provides tours of various cities in the area, as well as a provincial tour that stretches from the northern to southern end of Belliboos. These tours are fairly generic, and I don’t mean that derogatorily. These are great tours to take if you want to see all that Belliboos has to offer without spending too much time on one singular subject. The Provincial Tour, for example, is a four day tour that includes the city of Darbun, the Blue Forest, the Art Museum of Essile, and the underground tunnels of Loarndurg. It’s well worth the price for people who want a memorable and varied experience.

The Farthwait Circuit is a tour dedicated to the writer Rolla Farthwait, author of The Eaves of Red Ivy, among other noted works. Farthwait wrote for much of her career in Belliboos, and moved several times to different homes when writing different books. Tourists will get to visit the cabin she rented to write The Dark Night, the flat she wrote A Cup of Tea for a Fortnite in, and her home when she first came up with the idea for the Farhome trilogy.

There are many more tours available for visitors to the region, but these three are ideal places to start.

Evening

The Effervescent Palace of Chairs and Cabinets closes at 5:00, but that is not the end of the day’s events.

The Closing of the Gates is a small ceremony that occurs every day at 5:10, a historical reenactment of the Mad Duke of Swazle’s departure ritual. In some cases, the Duke is played by one of the Palace staff, but on several occasions they have been known to bring a child from the audience to play the part. It is tradition to complement the child by mentioning that they “behaved like the Mad Duke,” regardless of their behavior.

After the ceremony, a street-party begins, where folks from around the area pull out grills, food, drink, and music. The party generally only lasts a few hours, and it was originally thought to be a modern invention, it was recently discovered to be a traditional practice, dating all the way back to decades before the Mad Duke was born: one particularly cruel Duchess was adamant that no servant should sleep in a castle reserved for royalty, and so she closed all the servants’ quarters and forced the different servant shifts to commute back and forth from nearby Wonzeig. Due to the distance, many servants opted to make camp outside the palace walls. When the servants’ quarters were reopened after the Duchess’s death, the practice of eating, drinking, and relaxing outside the palace after your shift was over remained.

Wonzeig has several excellent restaurants dedicated to serving traditional meals with marvelous patio views of the palace. Spending an evening eating small plates while watching the sun set behind the distant mountains as twilight dances among the palace ramparts; it becomes easy to see why it was named the Effervescent Palace.

Lastly, take the time to stop off at Rixon’s, one of the best music-joints in the city. Playing everything from old Belliboos folk songs to modern classics, jazz, and even casual rock, Rixon’s has some of the best musicians in the province performing nightly. Be sure to arrive early to get a good seat, and remember to order a traditional “nightie” — a small shot of local port and a fruit pastry — for after your meal.