Garm: The Lords of Lamberly's Museum of Local History

DONE Transit

Lamberly is a large province on the southern edge of Garm, and easily accessible by train. The nearest airport is the World Airport just outside of Roshkana, and transit from there to Lamberly province is cheap at 5N a head on the Silverail Train line. Most transit to and from Lamberly province stops in Lamberly city, where the Museum is located.

The Museum itself is located on Prosh street between the Valley and Dale roads, and all five major bus lines have a connecting stop. The Museum is well sign-posted, and the commuter-service agents are plentiful and helpful. If you think a bus looks too packed to get on, try to get on anyway, as Lamberly has a culture of packing in commuters; you probably won’t find a bus or train that’s any less packed.

DONE The Place

Of all the places to visit in Garm, Lamberly is likely the best place to visit first for folks who have never traveled to its lush lands. A central location, both culturally and historically, Lamberly was once the capital province of the region; and while the Green Marble Palace has since been dismantled, there is no denying that the city still holds a grip on the hearts of the locals.

When writing this book, I had to consider long and hard about which activity to promote in Lamberly. The Art Garden was a natural pick, as was the Long-Ram water installation. Gran Hub Dalliance is a marketplace of unparalleled variety and beauty, while the Sitawile café is my own little secret, largely and unfortunately overlooked by your casual tourist.

In the end, I chose the The Lords of Lamberly’s Museum of Local History, because while the other locations are deserving of attention, if not their own chapters, there are wonderful art-gallerias, resteraunts, dance halls, and the like all throughout Garm. The Museum of Local History is unique, however, in scope as well as scale. Do not be fooled by its title, the building is full to bursting with artifacts, documents, and knowledge from all four corners of Garm, such that you could spend a whole year walking between the displays and never get bored.

The museum is not just a tourist site, it is also an active research institution. The Museum’s curators have, on multiple occasions, been at the forefront of significant historical discoveries. They field twelve separate experienced field-research teams, and administer thirty-some others. They were responsible for the discoveries of the Bone Pits of Rashtam, the Khuluin Sigil, and the fourth Trihfycom Spire. They have over ten different field offices, and are constantly digging to recover the forgotten past.

The Museum was originally founded by the Lords of Lamberly, a ruling council given hereditary power. This is a holdover from the ancient era when Lamberly was five separate Kingdoms, each with their own culture and history. After the discovery of Rolden’s Rock in the year 23 by the old Garm calendar, the Treaty of Five Points was drafted and signed, which was the origin of the current governing council. Attempts to reform or adjust the council have always been met with extreme resistance; Lamberly has had five Lords for centuries, and will likely continue to have five lieges in the future.

The Museum was a pet project by Lord Lakly in the year 1520. At the time it was believed he was attempting to find proof that his family were the rightful rulers of a full three-quarters of Lamberly, but letters discovered and publicized after the death of his grandchildren reveal he was more interested in using the project as a means to hide a mistress from his wife. As time went on, more and more of the Lords of Lamberly found value in supporting and funding the Museum, until it became a cultural institution.

Nowadays, the Museum is largely an independent organization funded by donations and grants. The central campus is open to the public, with the option of purchasing tickets and passes to unique or detailed sections. Prices are reasonable, ranging from 20s for individual exhibits to 2N for day passes to any of the campus buildings.

DONE The Humunon

Historical accounts of the Humunon abound across Garm, as the famous Guardian of Alrez was built to be notable. Legends say that the Humunon could be gifted with life by the breath of a true-born Alrez Princess, though naturally there has been no reliably documented case of this occurring to date.

The Humunon is a twelve-foot tall crude statue of a four-legged human with two faces on its head, each sharing the middle eye. It was carved from a gigantic piece of granite, polished, and stained with primitive dyes. The simple and crude construction has led some to believe it is little more than an honorary statue rather than the “real” Humunon, but the discovery of this statue by the gates of the Alrez ruins suggests that what sits in the Lamberly Museum is the fabled statue itself.

The Humunon is mentioned in several folk-legends, the most famous perhaps being the story of its creation: centuries ago, the Queen of Alrez demanded a tax on animal skins and furs, so that only she would have the finest clothing in the land. The people rose up to challenge the Queen, so the King commanded his army to protect them. His fear of the people did not ebb, however, so he continued to hire more and more troops and mercenaries until the kingdom’s coffers were almost empty.

At long last, the Queen convinced the King to order the construction of an invincible soldier who could guard their castle day and night. The King commanded the local forest-witch to build such a soldier, and so the Humunon was created and brought to the castle wall.

The statue was indeed invincible, and so the King and Queen slept soundly in their keep until a clever soul — some legends say it was the folk-hero Lon Swiftleg, others a precocious child, while some say it was a humble craftswoman — realized if they did not fight the Humunon, it would have no reason to fight back. Sure enough, the statue made no move as the people calmly walked past to hang their tyrant king and queen.

Ever since its discovery, several foolish people have tried to fight the statue, so we have plenty of proof that this is little more than a legend.

DONE The Kitchen of Holf

Holf Rengerson was an old and venerated chef-knight from the inner regions of Flororenghashst. While Holf was a historical figure, he had a strong instinct for self-promotion and hype. As such, half the stories told about Holf are likely exaggerations meant to increase his own personal legacy. Contemporary documentation is sparse, but it is clear he managed to attain some notoriety as both a knight and chef.

Famed for holding banquets at his manor-house, Holf was also a noted hunter who sought exotic ingredients for his feasts. Early in his career, he brought cuisines home from his military campaigns. When he grew older, he traveled extensively to foreign lands, taking his own cuisines with him and bringing home whatever he found. If his purported exploits are to be believed, he is solely responsible for bringing onions to Garm, peppers and broccoli to Flororenghashst, and sweet-root to Eddling. Even now, the central trade-route between the Knife Mountains is called Holf-Pass.

The Holf Manor-house was dismantled in the year 1603. Most of his personal effects were lost in the demolition, though most believe they were taken by the locals, rather than destroyed. As such, pieces of Holf’s finery is regularly found in old attics and storage units. The largest collection of found items is certainly his kitchen, which is now on display in the Lamberly Museum.

DONE Arwent’s Quill, Pot, and Blotter

The Golden Clerk, Reinel Arwent, is well known for her part in Garm’s history. Her hand wrote the first draft of the Armingsday Treaty, the Lion’s Accord, and the Grand Edicts of 1773. Sadly, a great deal of her work was lost in the Capital Fire of 1802, but careful historians have managed to chart her work — largely through her distinctive handwriting — from archive copies from all across Garm. It is believed we now have a cohesive timeline of her entire career, beginning with her induction into the Charter Society in 1744 all the way through her death in 1832.

When she retired from her position as High Regency Clerk in 1824, her desk and equipment were retired from service and placed on display in the main offices of the Charter Society’s main building. One each of her surviving quills, pots, and blotters were donated to the Lamberly Museum in 1920, and have resided there ever since, alongside a frankly exhaustive exploration of Arwent’s impact on local politics and economies.

These artifacts are merely the centerpiece of a larger exhibition, however, focused on the network of political writing that stretches back centuries. From the blood-treaties of ancient Garm to the increase of political marriages of the early 1200s, from the gabbro tablets that established the ancient borders of Flost, to the Scrivened Law of Old Roshkana. The exhibit goes into impressive detail, including providing a full analysis of the tangled web of political shifts and laws throughout the ages.

I mention this exhibit not just for its impressive size, but also because it is one of the rare exhibits that provides an enriching experience regardless of how deeply you study it. A shallow observing of the shape of political history can be just as valuable and interesting as spending a full day studying each display in full.

DONE Rolden’s Rock

Discovered in 1268, Rolden’s Rock was the catalyst for one of the largest cultural shifts in the history of Garm. Nicknamed “the Garm Rossetta Stone,” Rolden’s Rock was recovered at a historical dig-site at the ruins of what was once the city of Rolden. It is a fragment of chert that used to be part of a whole tablet clearly shaped by knapping, and then written on in a modified old runic alphabet of Garm. Enough of the fragment remains to see it was likely a complete story, but whether fictional or not is unclear. Historians have suggested it was a kind of primitive newsletter, or perhaps a memorial stone and obituary. Only the name “Organon” is clearly legible, but there are no historical records of anyone significant by that name.

The language, alphabet, location and time of its discovery, and the mineral composition of the chert were all powerful propaganda symbols that ultimately resulted in the five kingdoms uniting under the Lamberly flag. After the Six-year War, the Lords of Lamberly were eager to maintain the tenuous peace while they rebuilt their own fragile power. The finding of an ancient tablet fragment that suggested a common origin for each of the five kingdoms was an opportunity seized on by peace-mongers: the language had clear lexicographical connections to all three of the regional languages, the alphabet was a clear precursor to the local dylic script, and the chert was composited of minerals pulled from each of the five kingdoms. That the Rolden ruins were located nearly equidistant from all five capitals of the surrounding kingdoms sealed the deal, and the Rock of Rolden became a symbol of unity, powerful enough to weaken several centuries of cultural animosity.

When I first saw this piece of ancient history, I was amazed at how small it was. I, like most of you I’m sure, had only seen pictures of the rock in books, and so had imagined a rock somewhat larger than a human’s fist. The fragment is, however, barely half the size of a playing card.

Seeing something so small in size yet large in significance is a bizarre experience; I was at once disappointed and at the same time in awe. I felt my admiration for the Rock and its significance dwindle in size while at the same time it grew in strength; here was a tiny thing, no larger than a potato chip, that wielded such great influence over human history…It made me feel very small and very big. I towered over a piece of chert that changed the course of human history.

It made me wonder what other little things might carry such weight.

DONE Seven Star Fulcrum, the Sword of Blade-maiden Kidarkhi

The historical record of The Great Battle during the Era of Conflict is thoroughly muddled. Folk-legend and self-serving hype mix in equal measure to season what many historians agree was little more than a mighty battle in the middle of a turbulent era.

That said, there are some things that are verifiable facts. The Blade-Maiden, Ell Kidarkhi, did exist and did fight in The Great Battle. The battle did last for longer than a month, and Ell Kidarkhi did in fact hang up her sword after the conflict. The hill on which the Great Battle was fought is now called the Sword Cemetery, and many of the grave markers on the hill are indeed swords that were used in the battle.

However, whether Ell Kidarkhi thrust her sword into the hill and marched off the battlefield or not, her sword — the Seven Star Fulcrum — is no longer present in the Cemetery of Swords. It, along with several recreations of her battle dress, are now on display in the museum.

The Seven Star Fulcrum is one of the more controversial exhibits in the museum, and has since become a symbol of the multifaceted nature of stories, legends, and heroes. Since its display in the museum, the history of the Great Battle has been revisited and revised several times. Ell Kidarkhi herself has become something of a polarizing figure, seen alternately as a patriotic hero and war criminal.

The Seven Star Fulcrum itself is considered to be one of the greatest weapons in history, but after it was recovered and put on display, it’s obvious flaws have been subject to greater scrutiny. Several martial experts have argued the weapon would have been nearly useless on the battlefield as a weapon, and would have been better used as a means of intimidation or a rallying symbol. The forging quality of the sword has been called substandard, though the artistry of the filigree on the hilt is impeccable.

All in all, the piece is still well worth a viewing, both to see this piece of history, and to learn more about the multiple facets through which history can take shape.

DONE Accommodations

I mentioned in my intro to Garm the Hostil Rivore and it’s place in my heart, so I must mention it here as a wonderful place to stay. At the same time, I recognize it is not the cheapest nor the most ideally located Hotel in Lamberly, so consider as well The Rihmhovel and Hostil Ordlan.

The Rihmhovel is an ideal place to stay for travelers on a budget. Providing little more than a bed and bath, the hostel is clean and comfortable, though amenities like food and laundry are absent, the staff is polite and welcoming, and are more than willing to give tips on places to visit in the city. Rooms start at 2N a night, with discounts for longer stays.

Hostil Ordlan is a much higher end hotel, with far more in the way of amenities, including a dining hall, on-site laundry, a gym, and multiple sitting rooms for their guests to relax in, and possibly meet with friends and strangers alike. The price is higher, naturally, averaging 8N a night for a package including evening meals, 6N if you are planning on dining elsewhere.

Both hotels are centrally located, both within walking distance from several excellent restaurants, bars, and plazas; and with easy access to public transit.

DONE Things to Do

DONE Daytime

The Lamberly Walk is what the locals call the practice of starting at one end of Whiskey Street and walking to the other end. Whiskey Street is the largest street in Lamberly city, both in length and width. The number and variety of famous storefronts is unmatched in all of Garm. It is not impossible for visitors to spend an entire day on the Lamberly Walk, and find their time well spent.

The Hollhill Plaza is on the southern edge of Lamberly, and is famous for its wide variety of local wildflowers and trees. This is also one of the few urban locations where the blue warbler frequents during its migration. Local street-food vendors frequent the plaza, and it is common to pick up a bite to eat while enjoying some of the brightest and most beautiful flora Lamberly has to offer.

Ori’s Café is one of the most famous eateries in Lamberly, thanks to is prominent use in the Investigator Leese series of novels. Having frequented many eateries across the world, I can safely say it is not undeserving of its notoriety. They have become experts at buttered-lattes, naturally, and brew some of the richest swabit I’ve ever tasted. Be aware, their prices are substantially higher than other nearby cafés, due to the high demand.

The Pale River Bridge is the oldest bridge in Lamberly, and one of the most perfect places to sit and watch the city skyline. The under-bridge is also worth a visit, as it has become a prime location for casual gaming and sport; the gambling laws are strict, however, so your first stop should be to the Chit-shop, where you can purchase special game-chits that are used as proxy money.

DONE Evening

The Hollhill Plaza has its own charms at night, when several of the luminescent plants show their true colors. Street musicians tend to show up at night, practicing their Va de Rundes — a local single-instrument waltz — and their ländlers. Caramel nuts, A popular evening snack, are sold all throughout the plaza, and well worth 2s for a bag. Each vendor uses their own blend of herbs and spices to season the nuts before covering them in caramel, so be sure to ask for a sample before purchasing.

The Shimmerpath is beautiful in the day, but this stretch of park on the western edge of Lamberly comes into its own at dusk, when the nests of fireflies — locally called ‘glitterbugs,’ — come alive and settle on the flowers and bushes. Their synchronized glowing gives the path a pulsing beauty that is unmatched in all of Garm, and is well worth an evening stroll.

Nighttime dining is quite common in Lamberly, and you will find several cafés open for business. ‘Evening plates’ are usually saucer-sized plates with one or two bites of a carefully prepared savory or bread dish, coupled with a small evening nightcap. I personally patronize the Silver Moon café whenever I visit, though Café Durandar also has a wonderful ambiance to go with its spectacular food, and Lura’s Kitchen has the largest menu of nighttime cocktails in the whole city. All three are well worth visiting, should you be staying in Lamberly long enough.