Garm: The Land and Its People

I must admit, to start, a bias towards the land of Garm.

When I first began my habitual jaunts, escaping from the cloistered confines of University and the drudgingly familiar, I first went to Garm. It is in this bright land of soft flowers and strong buildings that I was first introduced to our fantastical world, and all the marvels that lay hidden inside it.

I will never forget, at the age of twenty-four, sitting on the roof of the Hostil Rivore and watching the sun set over the Lamberly skyline. The smell of fresh evening bread filled the streets below, and the square across the way was filled with minstrels playing a Va de Runde. Laughter and singing and the soft clink of earthenware ale-mugs filled my head, until it seemed like the world was full of nothing but joy.

I swore then and there that I would see the whole world, and taste of all the beauty and joy within it.

As such, Garm will always hold a special place in my heart, and while few other guidebooks may place Garm first on their list, few would ignore it entirely; it is a land of kind and vibrant people, industrious and proud. While the land is accustomed to tourism, it is not one of the better known lands, which means visitors and tourists need not be too concerned with crowds or tight schedules.

At the same time, I was amazed at how difficult the process of writing this chapter was. I had to trim down my massive list of must-sees to a reasonable amount, and this was a more difficult process than I had prepared myself for. I still weep that I was unable to fit in chapters on the Ruby Sea or the Longwall of Chunmire.

Nevertheless, there is plenty in Garm for the devoted traveler. Garm is a land of fascinating history, rich culture, and profound beauty. Whether you are traveling for sightseeing, spiritual matters, to experience new cuisines, or just for a change of venue; Garm will be able to provide.

DONE Culture for Travelers

Garm has a long history and rich culture, far too rich for a simple sub-heading in a travel-guide. Nevertheless, there are certain things that a tourist should be aware of when it comes to maneuvering through this wondrous land.

The people of Garm are a stable lot, not given to much gesticulation. Tourists are given grace — more so, these days — but restraining your more active hand- and arm-gestures would be polite.

Speaking of politeness, never make a circle with your fingers and thumb. This is a very rude gesture, and may result in an altercation. If anyone becomes angry at you for this — or any other mistake — say the phrase Teain vik. This is a humble apology, literally translated as “my heart is dust,” but more accurately meaning “I am ashamed.” Do not worry too much about getting the pronunciation correct; your accent will let the locals know you are foreign.

This is also a prime opportunity to make local friends. I myself have made several through this apology, followed by offering to purchase a drink for the offended party. Gift-giving as apology is common in Garm, and social drinking is a communal affair with new relationships made regularly. Just be sure to take lots of scrip!

On that note, be aware that privacy outside of your home, hotel, or apartment is not assumed. If you are in public, the locals will assume you are ready and willing to converse, answer questions, or be sold to. If you wish to have a private conversation or be undisturbed, your best bet is to find a local park — there are several common religions that meditate among greenery, so parks and natural surroundings are a kind of mutually agreed upon private space. Please remember to keep your voices down!

A fact that often trips up Travelers is that most provinces in Garm have a central or capital city that bears the same name. It is not uncommon for locals to use province and city names interchangeably, depending on context. This may take some getting used to, so don’t be afraid to ask for clarification.

Garm’s most common indigenous language is Lassian. Its most common foreign language is Dutch, with German close behind.

When meeting a man or woman of Garm, one should always say Gaaden (GAH-den); This is a formal greeting, and while the intricate social mores of Garm do not always require it, tourists should always open with it. Men should bow their heads at the neck, while women should bow at the waist. You don’t have to bow too far forward, only a few degrees at most, but make sure it’s noticeable.

If you do not speak Lassian, Dutch, or German, learn the phrase Ii nol vaales (EE knoll val-ESS). Following this phrase with your chosen language preference will tell any native Lassian speaker that you require a translator, or at least someone with some conversational knowledge of your language. If this is not available, please do not try to speak louder or slower; let the Lassian speaker take the lead, as Garm’s cosmopolitan nature means they are likely far more experienced with making themselves understood without a common language than most travelers.

DONE Cuisine

It is possible, if not likely, that you will find Garm cuisine quite bland. The cooking traditions of Garm are influenced heavily by the Holus Glorious religion, whose Orthodox tradition forbids most spices. While Orthodox practice has waned in popularity and influence, the impact on the local food has proven long lasting.

The staple Garm cuisine largely consists of lean meats and vegetables cooked in a variety of thick sauces. Soups, stews, pastas, and stir-frys are not unknown, but are largely a result of cultural exchange with other lands.

Depending on the region, you may find restaurants or cafés that serve “traditional dishes.” This means that every dish on the menu is generally small and meant to be eaten as only part of a full meal. This is similar to some culinary traditions that allow or urge diners to choose their meat, vegetable, and side for a single dish. Be aware that you will likely need to order two or three dishes to equal one meal.

Generally, most restaurants have gradually adopted the single-plate model more familiar to tourists, but you will likely still be able to find plenty of traditional-dish eateries on your trip.

Due to the historical influence of the Holus Glorious, there is a strong tradition of veganism in Garm, with menus usually divided into animal-based, non-animal-based, and mixed sections.

DONE Notable Dishes

DONE Hute

Hute is the name given to meat dishes in Garm cuisine. The words that follow Hute describe the manner in which the meat was prepared; for example:

Hute maa is a slice of meat that has been slow cooked in its own juices before covered in a sauce. Hute dem is a slice of meat that was slow cooked in the sauce it is served with. Hute lete is multiple small slices of meat, usually cooked very rare. Hute po lack is meat that has been tenderized and marinated in one sauce before being dried and seared in a hot pan before then being covered in a different complimentary sauce. This is only a small sampling; there are so many kinds of Hute, that to list them all would take too much of both my time and yours.

Hute is served largely for evening meals.

DONE Dash

Dash is the old Garm word for fruit. Dash dishes are slices or minces of fruit, either stewed in or covered with a sauce. Traditionally, Dash uses savory fruits exclusively — such as peppers or squashes — while Dash that uses sweet fruits is called Modash.

Dash is often served as a part of midday meals.

DONE Lave po Duch

Called “Garm’s national dish” by many, Lave po Duch, or “the five corners,” is the term for an assortment of food arranged in four corners of a square plate. Traditionally, a least one of the corners will be a savory Dash, while the other three can be any dish, such as Hute or fried vegetables.

The other traditional aspect of Lave po Duch is that each of the four dishes must use a different sauce, with usually only one being sweet and one being spicy. Originally made by a religious monk, the eater is supposed to begin at the bottom-left corner and progress clockwise around the plate, taking only one bite at a time from each dish. By the time the eater gets to the last bites, the sauces should all have mixed together in the middle of the plate, providing the fifth corner. While this dish is considered a deeply spiritual tradition by some, it has largely entered the secular world and can be eaten however you wish.

DONE Wuusht

Street food is not uncommon in Garm, and while different regions have different cullinary traditions, the one common thread is wuusht.

Wuusht is a stewed dish of grains and leaf vegetables in a dark sweet sauce. It is usually served in bowls or cups with a small wooden spoon. The sauce is fermented and seasoned usually according to a personal or family recipe, and is generally considered one of the regions finest specialties. Street vendors sell cups of wuusht on almost every corner during the cold seasons, complete with their own assortments of toppings.

Wuusht is not exclusively street food, however; many restaurants include wuusht on their menus, sometimes with their own additions to the plate. Be sure to inquire about the house recipe if you have any dietary restrictions.

DONE Common Ingredients

Fowl is the most common meat in Garm, while beef and mutton are considered luxury food. Seafood is also common around the coast, along with jellyfish, squid, and varieties of sea flora.

Due to the friendly climate, a common leaf vegetable known as thush is a staple, along with three ubiquitous savory root vegetables; grut, habbish, and lump-fruuk. Due to their similarities, you may see thush advertised as thush-lettuce, and the root vegetables as water-ginger, black-beet, and Garm-onion, respectively.

Both sweet and savory fruits are used often in Garm cuisine, largely in the creation of sauces. That said,

Grains are mostly used for bread, with noodle dishes largely absent. Bread is generally thought of as peasant-food, and will largely be absent from your meals. Instead, baked slices of lump-fruuk usually take the place of breads in appetizers, side dishes, and even some sandwiches. Grains are also sometimes stewed and used as a light base for meat or vegetable dishes — wuusht being the most common.

Dairy is a common ingredient, both in cream and cheese forms. Cheeses tend to be soft and used as a garnish, while eggs are seen as a kind of sauce and used similarly.

DONE Trains, Busses, and Taxi Services

Travel between Garm’s major cities and provinces is largely handled by trains, and regular users of such public transports will be readily familiar with their form and function. The largest difference for most cultures will be the lack of ticket counters at every station. Trains in Garm operate similarly to busses and taxis, in that you do not purchase tickets outside the vehicle, but inside.

Train schedules are available at every station, and finding the train you want is a simple matter of finding the listing for either your destination or your place of departure and noting which train will arrive there at your ideal time. If you find the schedules complicated to handle, or you find you need to make connections with a different train, speak with either a station attendant or a train attendant, and they will likely be able to set you on the correct path.

Inside Garm’s larger metropolitan cities, trolleys, busses, and independent taxi services are all common. Each city usually has its own preferred method of transport, and I will highlight each as necessary.

DONE Weather and Climate

The climate in Garm is relatively temperate, and will likely be familiar to most tourists. The Garm calendar includes four seasons, largely mapping to the common spring, summer, autumn, and winter. Packing for “a mild season” will largely provide you with most of what you will need.

That said, Garm is famed for its extended weather events. It never rains for an afternoon, but for a week. Heat waves last for days, and snow falls for weeks on end. If you time it right, you may be able to get perfect weather for your entire stay. If you’re unlucky, however, you might find yourself dealing with a constant light drizzle and luggage full of sun-wear.

Culturally, this has given the people of Garm a laissez-faire attitude towards the weather. It is not uncommon to see people playing sports or swimming during light rain, and there is a wide variety of dual-purpose weather gear available for purchase, should you find your preparations insufficient.

DONE Currency: The Garm Note (N)

Garm is notable for being one of the few cultures that has no form of hard currency. The Note originated as strips and squares of dyed pich, a papyrus-like plant. During different eras, for one reason or another, notes have been made from cloth, silk, and paper. The modern era has seen a return to the sturdy and traditional pich, due to its historical importance, its regional rarity, and current more reliable methods of farming the plant.

The note is subdivided into one-hundred scrip (s). Prices are usually written out in notes or scrip, rarely both, so get used to dividing by 100. Scrips are far more common than shans or scrawls, so you don’t need to worry too much about having a diverse wallet.

The common bills that travelers will need to deal with are as follows:

Bill	Worth (N)	Worth (s)
10 Note	10	1,000
5 Note	5	500
Note	1	100
Scrawl	1/5	20
Shan	1/10	10
Scrip	1/100	1

It is possible that you may come across a 3 scrip bill. These were in common circulation several generations ago, when the Church of the Green Vizier had a stronger hold over the land’s finances, and mandated the exchange rate of three scrip to the shan and three shan to the note. This was done due to some holy ratio that is highly regarded by Garm geometricians and engineers, supposedly in bringing good fortune.

Nowadays, these old 3 scrip bills are still considered good luck, but are worth no more or less than three scrip.