The Poems of Madam Albithurst: Joining the Army

So we returned to the Grand Junction, reveling all the while. The Dworgs were delivered to the local authorities without delay once the Galaship had docked once more. They marched in single file with their stone faces held high, their twig-beards clattering as they walked. They were met by a contingent of the Anointed Bulwark along with a veritable garment-rack of shackles, irons, chains, and cuffs.

At the front of the vanguard was the chiseled nose of my dear Captain de’Laisey.

Of course, I was still mad at my Captain for his unpleasant behavior in the interrogation room, so I refused to look him in the eye as I walked down the ramp. I however did not refuse so far as to avoid observing whether or not he was trying to catch my eye.

He was not, and I’m afraid this made me madder still. So mad that I refused to even turn to face him as he approached.

He too did not face me, instead sliding up to me from the side, as if I were some common contact in his network, a spy for the constabulary. This made me madder still. So mad that I did not answer him at first when he spoke my name.

He did not know how to handle my silence, I’m certain. Instead, he gripped my shoulder like a man possessed, clearly intent on preventing my distancing myself. Touching, to be sure, but not enough to thaw my frustration.

“You aren’t leaving this time,” he said with what I hoped was a tone of apology. “Not after this.”

I was uncertain as to what he was referring to, but he swallowed and cleared his throat and spoke as if I had acknowledged his presence, which, of course, I had not.

“What on earth possessed you, to think that you could up and leave Grand Station like that? In the middle of an investigation?”

I refused to rise to his bait, and instead stood perfectly still. as cold as marble.

He cleared his throat again as he watched the Dworg provocateurs file off the ship, flanked by a squad of his best officers.

After a moment, he tugged gently on my arm, obviously to lead me to somewhere private for an intimate conversation, apology, or similar tryst. Instead of yielding to his minor urging, I turned to face him at last.

“Might I ask you a somewhat impertinent question, Captain de’Laisey?” I asked him with a tone of voice that I hope he took as ominous. “It is of a professional nature — at least your profession — and I feel it might help clear the air between us.”

The man’s head sagged, a beleaguered sigh emanating from his lips. “I cannot stop you, Madam Albithurst, no matter how much it might pain me to admit it.”

“Why have you not arrested me? Is it because of your feelings for me?”

“Not arrested you?” The poor captain’s head sank even lower. “Feelings for you?”

“I know you place great stock in your professionalism,” I continued, not allowing him to interrupt with any potentially embarrassing expression of love or affection. “We have spoken twice since the murder of the Duke of Ten Vials, and each time you have accused me — no, it’s true, you have accused me of committing crimes and indiscretions most unpleasant. Now I don’t blame you, I understand you have a job to do and even though I had perhaps hoped that our relationship might allow for a modicum of flexibility, I understand why you might feel the need to treat me no different than any other suspect.”

“Our relationship?” He was breathless at the implications. “Any other suspect?”

“Which brings me to my question,” I ignored his exclamations. “I have heard-tell of enough penny-novel mysteries to know that a personal item of clothing in a victim’s hand is often the clue that solves the crime. I doubt you are ill-versed in such matters, and so surely you must have had to suspect that I was involved in the Duke’s murder. I have also been involved with a murdered Aeolam, a destroyed Golden Howdah, an incident involving multiple assailants at Lady Quixtactictle’s mansion — whom General Elevenstar says is likely a criminal in her own right — and now I return to you along with a small group of Dworgs and a story of an assassination, yes, assassination of yet another member of the Twelve Hands, a group that I believe to be quite politically motivated in combating the Archonarchy in the coming war with the Tentative Alliance.”

“Believe you me, Madam Albithurst,” my Captain looked at me with red-rimmed eyes, “the facts have not escaped my notice.”

“This conflict must be killing you,” I laid a hand on his slim shoulder. “I beg you, follow your duties as Captain of the Anointed Bulwark. I could not bear to have our personal relationship become a source of moral or professional conflict. Nor would I allow our love for each other sour your self-respect.”

Captain de’Laisey did not respond for some time after I had said my piece, instead simply opening and closing his mouth in astonishment. At my largess, no doubt.

I gave him time, turning to look out over the marching line of Dworgs, listening to the squad as they barked commands, pushing back the observant crowds, and preparing to file each prisoner among a sea of paperwork.

At long last, Captain de’Laisey’s hand gripped my arm again, tighter than before. “Madam Albithurst, by the power invested in me by the Kingdoms of Arcwhite, Gortmold, and Erflay, As Captain of the Anointed Bulwark by the leave of the Guardians of Grand Junction, I hereby officially arrest you on suspicion of murder, theft, espionage, and subterfuge. Your rights as accused stand tall, your duties as citizen bend low. You need say nothing more, it will not help you. Do you understand?”

I did, and was about to say so, when carried on the winds of metal fortune came a cry.

“What ho!”

Looking around at the bustling passersby, I saw a giant man in bristling metal armor waving proudly up at the deck were Captain de’Laisey and I stood.

“Sir Juhrooz!” I waved at the armored man as he strode across the Grand Junction docks. “What a delight! I see you got my message?”

“Message?” My Captain flustered. “You sent a message? When was this?”

“Please, pay him no mind,” I brushed the air away in front of my face, “Captain de’Laisey is quite the investigative sort. Are you quite well, Sir Juhrooz?”

“Indeed!” Sir Juhrooz leapt to our side with a single bound. “Since we parted ways, I have wandered the Grand Junction, hearing tales from officers and soldiers alike. Civilians and criminals opened their mouths, and I listened well, oh yes, I listened well.”

“How delightful,” I clapped my hands. “I will not pry, I’m sure the things you have learned are of a most discrete nature.”

“I say?” My dear captain looked so bemused, my heart went out to him. Poor thing was so caught up in his own policing efforts, that he rarely looked anywhere beyond the immediately pertinent. It was one of the many reasons why I adored him so much, his pragmatic focus and soulful devotion to his craft. I found it charming, and familiar.

“Oh, how impolite of me. Captain de’Laisey, this is Sir Juhrooz the Circumspect, Warrior of the Angry Pantheon and Doppewassl to the Arcwhite kingdoms.”

“A pleasure,” the armored man clapped my Captain’s hands as they studied each other, deciding as men-folk are sure to do, if they respected each other or not. “Always a pleasure to meet another man of faith in things unseen.”

“I am a keeper of the peace,” my Captain said. “Bringer of justice and stalwart of the Anointed Bulwark.”

“Just so,” said Sir Juhrooz before turning to me once more. “It is indeed a most delicate and secret mission,” he continued, “but one that you may have inadvertently assisted in!”

“Have I?” My eyes grew wide at the implications. “How on earth have I done so?”

“Why, your ring!” Sir Juhrooz took my hand and brushed it to his lips. “The ring you mentioned in your message, that has such information about the Archonarchy’s great construction as will make even the meanest of strategists salivate with delight!”

“What are you talking about?” My Captain gaped, grabbing at my hand. “Ring? Where did you get this?”

“A gift from Lady Quixtactictle,” I said as I pulled my hand away again. “I’m sure I mentioned it. Please, Sir Juhrooz, won’t you continue?”

“Marvelous! Stupendous!” Sir Juhrooz clattered and clanked as he paced up and down. “Why, what information that ring holds could decide the war before it starts! By the Hearth, if I had such knowledge, I could break the great construction over my knee! You must come with me, Madam Albithurst, and together we can solve this conflict together!”

“What?” Captain de’Laisey clapped a hand to his forehead. “Hold on a moment, I am attempting to arrest this woman on suspicion of murder and espionage.”

“The Encinidine!” Sir Juhrooz bellowed. “The Archonarchians are hunting for it, for it is a piece of their great construction, and now I am searching for it as well! Rumors abound, oh countless rumors, of what their great construction could be. A giant cannon that could crack the golden dome over the land of Arcwhite, a vessel as large as any of the Myriad Worlds, an army of machines each as deadly as a bullet or blade! My arm, strong as any two, will be bent towards the destruction of this evil construction, and you must help!”

“Must I?” I asked, curious as to the extent of my friends knowledge. “But my dear Sir Juhrooz, with so many squads and bands of soldiers searching for the Encinidine, how could we hope to get there first?”

“Ah,” a gauntleted fist tapped the edge of his nose, “My mission is not to find the Encinidine, but to discover precisely why the Archonarchy wants it, and prevent them from obtaining even a single piece! Charged, I was, by my Brigade Captain, and now I am the Arcwhite Kingdoms’ first Protector of the Encinidine. Thanks to the information on that ring of yours, we will know at least one piece of the puzzle. Please, Madam Albithurst, by your leave, I would beg you and your friends to come with me!”

“What?” Captain de’Laisey gaped. “Impossible! I’m arresting her. She’s my responsibility now. What are you talking about? Join with her?” He looked at me. “You work with him?”

“Why not?” the bellicose warrior crossed his arms. “It was Madam Albithurst who hunted for the Encinidine long before I even knew it was missing. It was her who received this ring and the information contained therein. Madam, I cannot help but wonder at what further aid you could bring to my search, having already done so much.”

“Are you asking me to help you? I’m afraid Mr. Porist is still with me, and we have collected another by the name of Image.”

“All the better! The more the merrier! Please, join my squad and become a hunter of the Encinidine for the Arcwhite Kingdoms! Let us journey together to the Sibilants, and find this being who knows where it lies.”

“Who knows where it lies?” Captain de’Laisey looked faint.

“How will we get there,” I asked, “if all travel between the Myriad Worlds is forbidden?”

“How will you get there,” my Captain snapped, “if you’re arrested?”

“We are on official army business!” Sir Juhrooz’s smile split the sky. “Why, not two hours ago, I received orders to commandeer the local Passfinder to open a portal straight to the Sibilants! We can leave before nightfall!”

“Wait,” Captain de’Laisey held out his hands. “She’s under arrest!”

“You would dare,” Sir Juhrooz turned with eyes of iron, “to arrest a servant of the Kingdoms of Arcwhite on a mission of tactical necessity? Scandal! Sabotage! Not even the Anointed Bulwark could dare arrest a soldier during a time of war!”

“Does that place me out of your jurisdiction?” I asked most plainly of de’Laisey, noting his beet-red face and tight lips. “Dear Captain, I am most sorry. This did not go the way I was expecting. If I am called to service for the good of the Myriad Worlds, I must answer the call, as you did when you were made captain.”

“Madam Albithurst,” de’Laisey sputtered, his fingers clenching and un-clenching, kneading the thick air like dough. He didn’t need to say any more. I could see what admiration and respect he had for me in his eyes, to see a fellow adherent of duty and honor.