The Quality Seller (Rewritten)

2025-07-05

NOTE: When I was preparing my old work for posting here, I found myself with the urge to re-write the Quality Seller; both to de-appropriate it a bit, and to make it a better more-interesting story. Rather than whitewash or cover-up my past, I decided to post my blemishes, and then post a newer version once I had written it. This is the newer (hopefully better) version.

The Monarch detected a charming personality hidden underneath his ragged clothes… ~ Filipino Folk Tale

Many years ago, in the old days of the land of Dup, when the sun was as fresh and new as a spring daffodil, and rainbow fish swam through creamy rivers, and the skies were filled with birds of all sizes and shapes; when the land was so rich as only an hour of work was enough to grow a crop of wheat so pure as to be gold; when no woman was foul of skin, or wore hair lighter than purest midnight, and when no man was feeble, simple, or unable to support his family, and when no child would ever dream of dishonoring his parents; Here, in the old days of the land of Dup, came Young Keh.

Keh was a poor orphan, having lost his parents to a vicious troll that was later slain by a noble hero. The poor child had no roof save the sky, no floor but the grass, and no walls but the trees. He wore no fine clothing, but only rags he had found on the ground. He had no food, but only the nuts and berries that he could find and the fish he could catch.

Of course, so bountiful was the land that Keh ate better than many kings of today, and so prosperous were the people that even the rags he wore would put many kings of today to shame, but he was a poor orphan all the same.

The only thing he had that was truly his was a charming personality, given to him at a young age by his father. It had been a family heirloom, passed down from father to son for generations, and Keh always kept it close, wrapped under his ragged clothes.

So it came to pass that one day, Keh was fishing in a stream near a road, catching fish after fish for his evening feast, when a humble merchant passed by. Though the merchant was humble — which is very different from poor in significant ways I will not numerate now — he was no fool, and when he saw Keh’s charming personality peaking out from his jacket, he saw an opportunity.

“Ho there, young orphan,” he said, setting his cart down. “I see you have a charming personality under your clothes. I can see too that you are a poor orphan, and such have no use for such a thing. Would you care to trade your charming personality for something more useful? I have little left to offer, but I am certain my wares will better suit your station. I have a stout heart, a kind soul, and a strong body here, all far more fitting for one such as yourself.”

“No thank you,” Keh shook his head as he continued to fish. “I would like to keep my charming personality.”

“Are you certain?” the humble merchant felt his opportunity slipping away, but he did not mind, as the sight of so many rainbow fish was making him hungry. “A charming personality never serves orphans well. It would be far more fitting for our Golden King; it is said he sits on a throne of gold and eats only from silver that no other hand has touched.”

“Perhaps, perhaps not,” the boy said, as he pulled another fish from the stream.

Now the merchant was quite certain Keh was a clever lad, as he would not keep such a useless quality unless he had some plan to turn it to his fortune. “I say,” he said at last, “you have caught so many fish, I wonder if you could eat it all. Might I sit down and share your repast with you? I will happily pay my way.” For the merchant both wished to sample the fine fish, and also to perhaps make the boy’s acquaintance so he could learn of the boy’s plans.

“Certainly,” Keh said. “You can start the fire while I catch more fish.”

And so they ate the many fish that Keh had caught, until both were fit to burst. The humble merchant thanked Keh profusely for his generosity, though he was sad he had not learned the boy’s plans. He paid the boy with an old quality he still had in the cart, not as fine as the stout heart, kind soul, or strong body, but well worth a fine meal nonetheless: a spunky nature.

Their business done, the humble merchant continued down the road, while Keh walked the other direction, with now both a spunky nature and a charming personality under his rags.

And so it came to pass that he met a humble woodcutter on the road, whose brow was wet with sweat and whose arms ached from the day’s toil. “Good sir Woodcutter,” Keh said, “what lies at the end of this road I am on?”

“Why, this is the Great Road,” the woodcutter answered. “It travels from one end of Dup to the other, and you are six days from the palace of the great Golden King. It is said he has a thousand wives each more beautiful than the last, and spends his nights with the stars themselves playing music for his ears alone.”

“Thank you,” Keh said, “then I am on the right road.”

“Ho there, poor orphan,” the woodcutter said, “but I see you have a charming personality and a spunky nature under your rags. Are you a quality seller? I would be willing to purchase one of those for my daughter.”

“I’m afraid my charming personality is not for sale,” Keh answered politely, “but I will happily sell you my spunky nature.”

At this, the woodcutter knew that the boy had some great plan, as who else would walk the Great Road with a charming personality, yet be unwilling to sell it? “Ah, my daughter will love a spunky nature, and me and my wife would love her to have it. Here, I have a brave temper I will gladly trade you, I have no need of it.”

And so Keh walked further down the path with a charming personality and a brave temper under his rags.

And so it came to pass that he met a humble jam-maker on the road, whose hands were blue with berries and whose shirt was white with sugar. “Good day, lady jam-maker,” Keh said, “am I still on the Great Road?”

“Indeed you are,” the jam-maker answered. “You are five days from the palace of the great Golden King. It is said he owns two thousand horses, each as smart as a pig and as large as a house; and is carried everywhere by four magical spirits so his feet do not touch the ground.”

“Thank you,” Keh said, “then I am on the right road.”

“Ho there, poor orphan,” the jam-maker said, “but I see you have a charming personality and a brave temper under your rags. Are you a quality seller? I would be willing to purchase one of those for my husband.”

“I’m afraid my charming personality is not for sale,” Keh answered politely, “but I will happily sell you my brave temper.”

At this, the jam-maker knew that the boy had some great plan, as who else would walk the Great Road with a charming personality, yet be unwilling to sell it? “Ah, I would love for my husband to have a brave temper, and he will thank me for giving it to him. Here, I have an entrancing magnetism I will gladly trade you, I have no need of it.”

And so Keh walked further down the path with a charming personality and a entrancing magnetism under his rags.

And so it came to pass that Keh did much the same thing for the five days between the jam-maker and the palace of the Golden King, meeting humble folk and trading qualities until he arrived at the gates of the palace. The gates were large and made of gold and silver, and two large metal men guarded them.

“May I come in?” Keh asked the metal men. “I have traveled long across Dup to see the palace of our Golden King.”

“It is said he drinks only wine made from the first grape harvested from every vineyard in the land,” said the metal men, “and he eats only chickens that pluck their own feathers.”

“That is he,” Keh said, nodding eagerly. “May I enter?”

“I see you have many qualities under your rags,” the metal men said, for Keh had made many shrewd trades over the past week, “including a charming personality. Are you a quality seller?”

“I am a poor orphan,” Keh said as he struggle to keep his many qualities from falling to the ground, “but I will happily sell my qualities in the palace, except for the charming personality. It is not for sale.”

Now the metal men knew that Keh was a very clever child to have made it all the way to the palace of the Golden King with a charming personality, and he must have had some great plan. “Very well,” said the metal men, “but be warned. The Golden King is not easily charmed.”

“Thank you,” Keh said as the gates opened to let him inside.

As he stepped inside, Keh was struck with wonder — the palace was greater than he had ever imagined. The walls were marble and jade, while the carpets were spun gold. The tapestries had been woven from sunlight and rainbows, while the statues had been carved from waterfall mist. Everyone he saw was dressed in silk shinier than the prettiest birds you have ever seen. Even the servants who rushed about doing their masters’ bidding wore crowns of silver and bronze. Keh was so amazed that his mouth hung open as servants and masters, merchants and makers, all rushed about at their business. Keh was so amazed that he let his qualities fall from his rags, and they spread and rolled across the silver street.

Quickly, Keh collected all his dropped qualities and moved to the sidewalk where he sat to rest, laying his qualities out in front of him. He rested there for but a moment when someone stopped and asked if he was a quality-seller. “I will sell you a quality,” Keh said, “but not the charming personality. That is not for sale.” The person purchased a quality and left, only for another person to approach, and then another, and then another. Soon, all the qualities had been sold save the charming personality, but no matter what he was offered, Keh only said; “It is not for sale.”

Before long, the Golden King heard of the clever orphan who sat in the palace and would not sell a charming personality. Sweeping off his golden throne and carried by four magical spirits so his feet would not touch the ground, the Golden King went to see this strange clever boy.

“I see you have a charming personality,” he said when Keh had finished bowing. “Will you give it to me, your King? It is far more fitting for me than for a poor orphan.”

“I am sorry,” Keh bowed, touching his forehead to the silver street, “I will not give it to you.”

Now the Golden King knew the boy was very clever, and had some great plan for his charming personality; perhaps to gain his fortune. “Then will you sell it to me? I will give you half of the coins in my treasury.”