Ozzie Fitch: Chapter 20
It feels like you’re alone. Like really alone for the first time in your life.
Even when there is no one else around, there’s a part of you that’s still there. It’s looking over your shoulder and critiquing everything you do. It shows you every facet of your life, and makes you watch. It rubs your nose in every failing, and laughs at every foible. That part of you that hates you is always there. That part of you that draws the lines and puts up walls. The part of you that warns you about what might happen, or what could happen. The part that is always looking ahead of you for stray banana peels and sharp rocks. All the neurosis and psychosis that life lays over the real you are there, even when there’s no one else around. Especially when there’s no one else to drown out the voices in your head. When there’s no telephone ringing. When there’s no car rushing you somewhere else.